bisperas ng pasko (christmas eve)

2200h. 24th of december 2011.

this year i learned, in a nutshell, of weakness.

not just any weakness. my achilles' heel. my waterloo.

it's weird. it's like a different person, but i know it's me.

like a dream. or nightmare.

i learned of strength. but i did not learn it. i realized that strength is really a truth. not just a mere word.

i learned of commitment, of conviction, of accountability and responsibility.. and my apparent lack of all these traits.

i remember vividly. i was hopeful for 2011. turns out, a lot of things did happen. not the good kind, unfortunately.

i may in fact, be really losing it. what the hell is wrong with me?!

hayy.

god, i hope not. while i'm sane, i still hope for the better.

my christmas wish is, therefore, to be able to work through my weakness. for courage. for strength. for conviction to do what is right. for accountability.

whew. to better things! happy holidays!

Ilokano: Baset pay lang

My mom is from the town of Concepcion on Maestro de Campo Island, located just off the coast Oriental Mindoro. They speak Asi, an offset of the Bisaya dialect, spoken only in two other Romblon Islands (Simara and Banton). We've been going to Concepcion for like, forever. Relatives from my mom's side are everywhere. But I never really learned to speak Asi. Mom never taught us (only when we asked) and probably, I didn't want to consciously learn. I can understand based on context. I can speak a little . ("Maley!" means "Come!"; i never forgot that because my young niece used to scream it at me). Kagkag. Bakten. Buko. Ngaseng. Just a mishmash of words. Maybe because at the back of my mind, I thought I have no use for it. I'm with my mom anyway whenever we go to Concepcion. And they also speak Tagalog. So what's the point?

What I wanted to learn was Chavacano. I haven't been to any Chavacano-speaking region. But I'm a fan of anything coming from the Spanish era.

I heard Ilokano before, and I read it in our Pugad Baboy books. And i distinctly remember saying that I'm not ever going to understand much less learn the dialect. It seemed too alien. Too far from Tagalog.

And then, work happened. Where a huge percent of my co-workers speak Ilokano. They always ask me, "Kaya mo bang makaintindi ng Ilokano?" and I say no.

"Ah madaling ibenta to!" I was shy at first, but then i suddenly had the desire to learn the dialect. I think it's a pretty language, with the Es pronounced as Uh. hehe. Plus, ang corny pala kung isang dialect lang alam mo. I'm still learning words and phrases, but at least I can hang around people and not feel like a total foreigner.

Naimbag ngamalem!

happy town

a year ago while living in a haven called ElBi, i innocently obsessed over leaving. i desperately sought a clean slate, hoping i can bury my mistakes and become a whole new person.

now if things went well, it could be the stuff for inspirational movies.
if not, it's good material for a tragedy.

i learned..
wanting change goes hand in hand with responsibility. no excuses.
going through change needs a strong heart. and always keeping your shit together.
complaining is not cool.

i wanted a clean slate.
but what i needed was to grow up.



hi. my name is L-
i'm restarting this blog to keep my sanity intact.
hope it's not too depressing. :)

Haplos (1982)

Category:	Movies
Genre:	Mystery & Suspense

Starring Vilma Santos, Christopher de Leon, and Rio Locsin.
Directed by Antonio Jose Perez.
Written by Ricardo Lee.

I wasn't able to watch the start of the movie, pero natapos ko sya. hihi. adik.

The plot is basically about a love triangle involving Christie (Vilma), Al (de Leon), and Auring (Locsin). Mag-boyfriend si Al and Christie, but Al was somehow enchanted and also fell in-love with Auring, who lived alone in a beautiful, bahay-na-bato in the jungle (yes, gubat. as in define.) Al is put to a dilemma kase he's in-love with both women, even when he learns na Auring is a ghost!

Apparently, Auring lived during the Japanese occupation and was the kasintahan of a local drunkard, Mang Basilio. Her house was pillage by the Japanese and then she was raped and killed sa harap pa ni Basilio. may time-traveling na naganap at nawitness din ni Al kung paano namatay si Auring. natrauma si Al dahil dito, and Christie resolved to help Al by seeking out Auring. She returned to the house, pero wala na si Auring.

Sa last scene, we see Christie wearing Auring's clothes and playing the piano piece na tinutugtog ni Auring before. Al returns to the house and sees Christie. Tapos sabi ni Christie, saying what Auring had said before: "Kanina pa kita hinihintay."

end scene.

oh yeah! i really loved this movie kase maganda at kakaiba yung plot. although my ate said it might be loosely based on a Japanese movie she had seen one with the same theme. it wasn't about revenge. or career. or iba pang themes ng mga movies nung 80's. it was a timely movie, with nationalistic themes incorporated. since Martial Law pa nung time nito, there were scenes na nung una di ko maintindihan kung bakit nila sinisingit (may funeral, may rounding up of locals by the Philippine Constabulary, etc), pero yun nga, it was subtly referring to the social/ political situation nung time na yun. historical sya and at the same time, it likened the time of the oppression of the Japanese nung 40's sa present time (80's), kaya siguro nagparamdam ulit si Auring.

Minus one star for the not-so-smooth transition of scenes at sa mga loose-ends. As i've said, merong mga pasulpot-sulpot na scenes na i'm not so sure why it was put there. like yung pagkampana (tama ba yun?) ni Mang Basilio in the middle of the night. di na inexplain kung bakit. o bakit namatay si Mang Basilio. anubanaman yan Manong! Wawa ka naman! Di ko alam kung bakit ka nagkaganun!

Quotable Quotes:

Christie: Boyfriend ko si Al. Mahal na mahal nya ko. Layuan mo sya.
Auring: Bakit?
C: Mahal ko sya.
A: Mahal ko din sya.
C: Nauna ako.
A: Unahan ba dapat?
C: Handa akong mamatay para sa sa kanya.
A: Hindi ako maaring mabuhay nang wala sya.




reposted from my multiply site, dated Oct 15, 2008.